Yo, so I skillfully combined two memes in one: ‘How it feels to listen to a podcast’ & ‘woman laughing alone with salad’. I’m ... a very lonely person.

It would be nice if it were possible to bring up these points without the Beyhive screaming RACISM! every time someone dares to criticize their queen for anything.

I’m 100% Rihanna Navy so I could care less about what the Bey-hive has to say, but they are being ridiculous, AGAIN, about the Grammys.

I’m just curious to see the type of reaction you’re going to get. I refuse to drink the Lemonade even if she is a talented musician. Just not my type of music.

Also there was Gwyneth Paltrow.

Ok so Adele has been lovely about this whole ordeal, but can I just say I am tired of the hand wringing over Beyonce?

I JUST WANT SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED PETTY CELEB SHADE, YA KNOW?

Everything I hear about Marilyn Manson, from people who’ve met him, is good. I think his manner can be overly affected at times, but I suspect he drops it when he isn’t being, you know, MARILYN MANSON. I would go out with him, given the opportunity.

i will not post the one where i look “nuts” but here’s this one:

“A disco ball chained to a bench...” Also describes JLo’s engagement to Ben Affleck.

Third rule in Latino families: leave your wife after she donates her organs to you.

I used it to add to My List, I watch on my big screen tv, but it is easier to locate new stuff to watch on my PC.

I find this breathless excitement about Beyoncé keeping her performance engagements hilarious. Most women work through their whole pregnancies. I worked till I was 8 1/2 months and the size of a bloated manatee.

WOULD HUG*.

A vagina hug.

Keanu is hot, was hot since Bill and Ted days, so I have no idea why they just discovered it. And I am not even going to hug it, 100/100 would do.

It puts the pudding on its skin. Or else it gets the gellatin.

If she’s pregnant, whoever’s tasked with carrying her around will be carrying two babies instead of one. Think about it.

It’s clear that Rob Lowe is a real life Tamogotchi. I hope the new assistant knows this or she may kill a national treasure.

Able to lift up to 25 pounds as required to support THE CLIENT