This is a common tactic. I think Steve Lehto covered it in one of his columns.

Were they monogrammed thermoses?

100% - I was like awesome concept! Awesome actors! Awesome... can't wait!

I believe the politically correct term is "living-impaired" hookers.

You IDGAF attitude about this whole scenario makes this story a winner for me!

I read the 'tee hee hee,' of course, as a falsetto TEE-heehee. Followed by a crotch grab.

"Squadleader, this is Blue Nine- I'm running away."

Every moment he spends not writing is a moment my disdain for him grows. Write! Write, damn you!

The cruiser stole the vase on it's way out

Well, Jason thanks for ruining my Monday morning.

The man, who can be seen in the above photo, allegedly had 126 iPhones affixed to his waist and twenty iPhones on his legs. Hey, you'd walk strange, too.

...a game where the final boss is Kanye?

I had to think about it, because frankly, I do a lot of weird things. But I did it. I figured out the weirdest one.
Sometimes, when I have to fart, I lay on my back and spread my cheeks apart, because I find it oddly satisfying to have a fart that's just a puff of air.

An entertaining alternative when you're in bed with your loved one:spread your cheeks so wide that the fart is silenced. Hilarious when you pull it off. May require a 'Bender' pose.

Not the RPG I was expecting.

my favorite game to play is "WHAT IS THIS COMMERCIAL ADVERTISING?"

"It's an investment," he said. "When you invest in this company, you invest in it. If you did invest in the company, I spent the money on ordering a certain amount of Delta Sixes. So if, all of a sudden, you don't want it, it's [not possible]. It's not like you bought the purchase. You didn't purchase a product. You…

...Third movie? You might want to take a seat for this.

When is someone going to name something after Steve Irwin already???