subtitles no problem, thanks.

OT: What are people watching on netflix? I just finished Riverdale, and I’m looking for a new show to watch in the mornings before work. My favorite shows are Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Always Sunny, Venture Bros, and Fawlty Towers.

I’m pretty curious about the backstory here - because I have a very difficult mother and a medium-high difficult older sister. I will do basically anything to not get involved in their relationship, because it’s just impossible. Any indication that I am not completely on the side of the one currently speaking to me,…

Just on the topic of highways and marine life...

A few months ago, one duck decided to rape another one about three feet away from the picnic bench where I was eating my lunch. It actually wasn’t loud at all, but disturbingly vicious. He was straight-up pulling feathers out of her neck as she hissed and bucked and tried to get him off.

...I guess we can call off the search for cousin Janice.

I was super excited about the monocle-wearing snakes myself. I imagined them with little top hats too!

Shit, I forgot to tell you that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Consider yourself insulted.

I’d scream at you to get off my lawn, but I’d have to put my dentures in :)

Thanks!

I thought the post was mocking people who are deeply concerned with finding out who Rihanna’s new dude is? The tone is satirical.

Mike Huckabee is literally the exact kind of person “Little Piggies” was written about.

I don’t have any kids, but working with them has left me with the opinion that the pre-school age ones have minds like horses - everything is fine and then some inexplicable (to an adult human) detail leaves them completely wigged out.

Can we hash out a cut-off date for Millenialism? It’s getting ridiculous at this point. Today’s 16 year olds grew up in a completely different world from me, let alone people born in the early 80s.

Well, that thief really stepped out of line and put his foot in it.

In high school I sometimes mixed my parents red wine with cran-grape juice.

Consider all the people with Dads in Alabama. This is peak Fathers Day present.

Yeah, I play to win now. The smugness if no challenges him is too insufferable.

Father’s day means a vicious pun-off. You can’t prepare ahead of time because the subject must arise in normal conversation. My mother hates these digressions.

Not quite the same, but I took some shroom pills and went to the Magic Kingdom about 4 years ago. Do not recommend. After the 40 minute or so kick-in period, I got one good ride out of it - the Peter Pan ride, felt like I was really flying and could reach out and touch the scenery. Then we went and got in another long…