Once I purchased a successful, popular Halloween party, which was famous for the outre costumes the party goers frequently chose. Then I demanded that the party goers stick to only traditional Halloween costumes - vampires, witches, and ghosts ONLY. Then all of the cool, creative party goers left. However, I was also…

Sure, but returning to smoking habits is the quickest way to return to smoking. And going for a hike is fun, but not the same experience as quietly being in nature and doing nothing but breathing in for ten mins.

I quit smoking about a year ago, and will not go back, for the obvious health reasons. But the brief natural interludes smoking brought with it are something I still miss. If I took three smoke breaks a day, that added up to thirty minutes quietly reading outside and contemplating the state of the creek behind my…

My parents had the bread pudding at the Commander’s Palace on their honeymoon 35 years ago, and I still hear about that shit on a semi-regular basis.

I was pretty sad when I moved out of state for college and couldn’t get breakfast tacos at literally every other gas station. I made them for myself, but that’s not really the point.

Ok, but a cold, crisp apple right from the fridge is the only way to eat apples.

As a society, we are way harsher on rambunctiously energetic little girls than boys. From a professional point of view, I’ve frequently witnessed it and also perpetrated it. Somehow, small girls are consistently expected to be more mature and exercise more control over their behavior than boys the same age. I’ve…

I dunno, I thought the inclusion of Alianora in the first one actually managed to pretty well avert the “Not Like Other Girls” trope before that trope had even been named. Alianora is pretty and demure and fashionable, but she can’t stand the status-obsession the other captive princesses have, and she has a definite…

Western North Carolina, huh?

Whoa, what got you banned on Jez? You’ve been there longer than any of the writers.

Never forget:

I read his whole comment like it was written by this guy:

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is obviously the best Narnia book, but The Magician’s Nephew is such an unusual choice that I gotta star it anyway.

Have you tried the chocolate and orange cheerios? I was dubious, but I bought a box a few weeks ago and I think they lasted roughly five hours at my place.

I completely, and successfully, changed my personality for camp one summer. I am a shy and neurotic bitch, constantly fearful of rejection by my peers, who would genuinely prefer people not remember me than remember me for the wrong reasons. My picture does not appear at all in my high school year books, and I am so…

As a broad trend, I’ve noticed that men tend to be very work-to-rule about cleaning. Ask one to clean a messy table, for instance, and he says to himself “I will clean the absolute fuck out of this table. I will go to Lowe’s and purchase additional supplies if I am not satisfied with the surface cleaner we own. When I…

I’m not a huge La Croix drinker, mostly because I’ve found them to be barely carbonated at all. Terrible for mixed drinks. I wonder if it depends on what part of the country you’re in, if you’re closer or farther away from a bottling center for different brands.

Hear me out: the first Dark Tower movie should skip Jake completely and instead focus on the Drawing of the Three. It could open with a few minutes of Roland on the beach, the Lobstrosities, finding the first door, and then...boom. We’re in Eddie’s POV. We get settled in the whole heist/mob angle of Eddie’s story,…

The only thing that beats them for me is lime Topo Chico. Those things are so refreshing, I ration myself by only buying individual bottles.

I wonder if it depends on the region? I’ve found them to be consistently medium carbonated. Not as fizzy as a really good Topo Chico, but more reliable. Every now and then I get a TC that basically isn’t carbonated at all.