I think banana cream would be the most fun kind of pie to hit someone with, because I would feel like I was in a three stooges film. However, a pecan pie might be able to do some real damage.

She actually does not have the third E. Which is odd, because that is the traditional French spelling, but I guess for rhyming reasons Bemelemans wanted to make it clear that her name ends with a long I sound, not a short one.

I really hope she went very suddenly. The feeling of gradually losing control of your body in the midst of a public performance sounds like one of my worst panic-attack nightmares.

Deathmatch: JLaw v. Taylor Swift. I honestly do not know who would win. I think JLaw is probably stronger, but Swift faster and sneakier.

I feel this way about Liv Tyler.

Frankly, the world is absolutely full of rocks no one gives a shit about that you can carve your initials into. Keep it out of parks and preserves.

I never get tired of this picture.

For some reason I thought that was for the Vietnamese.

Finally, someone else who feels this way.

He must have been so pissed that we don’t have a go-to slur for Korean people.

My parents were 41/42 when I was born and I have never been successfully diagnosed with anything (hahaha!). I also escaped the crippling depression common in my mother’s family, which did show up in my ten years older sister. You never know.

Any record store clerk worth their salt will shame you for buying literally any greatest hits album. My dad wanted a country artist’s greatest hits album for his last birthday and I actually torrented and burned it rather than face the shame.

One of my aunts ended up adopting a one year old when she was 69 (long story, it was her grandkid, it was the best decision for everyone). They seem to be doing ok, although I know she doesn’t have the same energy she did for her own kids. But at least there are three much older brothers who can take the reins when…

Not always, actually. One of my uncles molested his step-son as a child (my favorite uncle, of course, my creep radar is shit). Maybe he did something similar before, but he sure hasn’t since (30 years), his wife has monitored him like a hawk. His biological son has no idea that ever happened.

The only reason this bothers is me is because of the inevitable stress this kid will have over caring for aging parents, long before that would normally happen. My mother was 41 when I was born, my father 42, and now in my twenties I am already beginning to worry about the innumerable problems that come with caring…

Don’t tell my boyfriend: twice or thrice a week I skip lunch and leave work at four so I can hang out alone in the park for an hour. I need way more solitude then him, and he gets hurt by it sometimes, even though he tries to pretend otherwise.

The guy from Iron&Wine would be the most relaxing sex partner. However, you would wake up with a UTI.

The Isabel Spellman novels by Lisa Lutz (fun, contemporary mysteries) feature a protagonist who is always cagy about her weight. Her awful grandmother is always passive-aggresively critiquing her weight, but the implication is that she is of average size, just not petite like the other women in her family.

I thought I knew some things about evangelical churches and the people who need them, but this post made me realize I’ve never been past the shallow end of the pool.

The minute I read this, I wondered if this man had ever read the parable of The Good Samaritan. If so, it apparantly didn’t take.