I read this like you were the evil lion Scar.

Look, you could show me a time-lapse video showing how she will have my nose and boy-shoggoth’s habit of clearing her throat at bizarre moments.

That poster “rights for male whatevers” is so headbangingly stereotypical I almost feel like it has to be a plant.

Prepare for ten paragraphs explaining why you’re wrong and basketball players are the most oppressed subgroup in today’s society.

oh my god, if only

It happened.

Millenials aren’t teens anymore, guys. For one thing, we’re all actually old enough to vote now. The generation that popularized snapchat is known as generation z until one of us gets old enough to come up with a more insulting name and constantly shit on them.

First amendment!

The pig apparantly trying to fly into a conference room is my fave.

Damn, I haven’t listened to that band in forever but that lyric still struck a chord.

That is a fascinating ball of whack you’ve found there.

I’m sorry. Have a hug from a many-tentacled sea creature. I will try not to leave any sucker-marks on your skin.

I am so concerned for you even though I don’t know you and I don’t know what to say other than pointless platitudes.

Blanket negotiations are the most tense political situation most of us will ever be directly involved in.

Remind yourself every time you just do something because you feel like it and you don’t have to justify it to anyone.

even if we start out on opposite sides, in the small hours he creeps up and smothers me

Way to make it sad :(

Just looking at the sleeping positions in that top photo...

This is how I feel about whoever snatched a package containing some shoes off my stoop.

I suspect taco bell will shortly be offering this item. Probably dusted with nacho cheese doritos, or something.