It’s happening all over the place. It looks like if the main follows you, the subs do too now. There may or may not be other routines we haven’t figured out yet.

How did this happen to Leslie Jones?

The Elon story is gold but you have to use your imagination. Like I can just imagine this billionaire futurist being like this shy creepy high schooler you know I don’t want to date her but she just seems... interesting. It’s such a thing some of my friends would do so it’s funny imagining all that.

There were lots of crime-related ones. A woman failed to return a car and it was reported stolen. Turns out she was living in the rental car and running a check fraud scam. The cops called him to come pick up the car while they were still arresting her (!?) He looked inside and found a loose armrest where she had…

Yeah, that’s a terrible example, but I think the point that the “real world” does not adjust to you is valid. I think a better point would be the UChicago student I saw today deriding the lack of trigger warnings for spiders in a bio textbook given that he has arachnophobia. The spiders in your cupboard do not care…

Imagine the same policy told to the delicate flowers of Oberlin...

Questionable taste in authors aside, apparently Amber’s type is “middle-aged rich dudes who are astounded by her literacy”.

he sounds creepy and stalkerish.

To his own mind Musk is some kind of modern-day Leonardo Da Vinci but in reality he’s fucking crazy as a loon. And rather sinister-looking. He reminds me of the villain in Casino Royale.

I’m screaming- OF COURSE she’s that girl!

I remember reading somewhere how Johnny Depp was so impressed with her because of her deep knowledge of old, unknown blues players. Most unusual indeed...

Tom Hiddleson wrote his love notes for him.

I am not even close to rich and famous and I’ve heard people talk/write like that. Yes, I do know a lot of annoying people.

DO. TELL. I thought she was the thirsty one.

And I bet you never end it with.... “most unusual!”. WHO TALKS LIKE THAT? THIS IS NOT 19TH CENTURY ENGLAND.

Yeah, I never thought of it that way, but you’re right. I mean her eyes suggest there’s something solid back there, just that she keeps it hidden. I’m not sure if anyone sees the real Amber Heard that much, like she worries what will happen if people see the actual Amber. That’s unfortunate for her, I think.

He really is a second-rate Bond villain come to life.

So based on my one friend who had a mildly successful movie, the key is to ask your publicist to ask their publicist for a date.

Its not bad... but Pippa’s fiance’s long plan to wed her is scarier and creepier imo.

I would imagine that every sentence is followed by a minute of icy staring in complete silence.