When I get frustrated with Mr. Slackss and he with me, I’m going to pull out an old timey paper file I keep of posts like these. To see the reality of the current cutthroat instant computerized (rejection) dating world right now will scare us straight into trying harder. I don’t want to go out there.

Perhaps her new legal counsel will be this guy:

That’s assuming that she’s always on, which I don’t think she is. She has an act. And even if she is the “unpredictable friend,” it still doesn’t look good for Anderson. There are better ways to dissolve a friendship. He looks like a dick.

*haven’t we heard. Isn’t that what we meant? ;)

I don’t know, SHough, do you have a version where RYAN GOSLING DOESN’T STARE AT HIS FEET WHILE HE DANCES?! Until then, shitting on La La Land is a fucking evergreen.

Honestly, I’m with Kathy on this. It’s not the statement he made. It’s the fact that he took 3 months to reach out to her, while his co-workers did immediately. You can be harsh with your friend while still acting like a friend. She might be a “difficult” friend to him but he was not much of a friend to her and that’s…

A friend had one who would mimic his voice and call their cats in the voice he used for feeding them. They fell for it every time.

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

I am currently being forced to answer phones all day at work, and this happened a couple of weeks ago:

I showed this story to my wife.

You know, I actually wouldn’t mind a Jezlopnik “stars & their cars” special; although I’m guessing it would just be a parade of various import SUVs with maybe a sprinkling of hybrids.

I didn’t want to camp barely 3 months pregnant (I did and it was OK. Obviously, I lived to tell. ;) ). There’s no fucking way I would have done it later in pregnancy. More power to Ms. Stiles.

Or maybe it’s the fact that clowns wear weird crazy costumes, act nuts, are ridiculously over-happy and cover their faces with makeup so you can’t see their actual faces? Yeah, there’s nothing off-putting about that at all.

Hmm, where did I leave that ban button...

This is the kind of filthy hot take I’m looking for.

Literally every car in the left lane, directly in front of me.

Jeep. Wrangler.

“CITIZEN! WE HAVE FOUND A TIND- NO, NOT YOU. THE HOT ONE... CITIZEN! WE HAVE FOUND A TINDER MATCH FOR YOU.”

You’re walking your dog down the street when a drone flies up to you with some fucked up and overly strident robotic voice - “CITIZEN! WE HAVE FOUND A TINDER MATCH FOR YOU. HE IS (RACE), WITH (COLOR) EYES, AND (COLOR) HAIR - HE ENJOYS (LENGTH OF TIME) WALKS ON THE BEACH AND PREFERS (CATS OR DOGS). HE IS “(DIRECT QUOTE…

I definitely do prefer to the new style, but goddamn I wish artists would, like, branch away from it for a bit. A lot of art is getting same-y, especially with the male protagonists. I suppose, however, that that's just anime in general, and each art really pops out in its own way. At least most times.