When I was about 20, I briefly rebound-dated this guy who lived in a houseshare with his step-sister, but it was extra awkward because they dated in high school and that's how their parents met and subsequently married.

"Hmm. Well, on one hand, he always takes the garbage out and he has great abs and we both love dogs, but, on the other hand, he's kind of fucking his sister a little bit. What should I do, internet?"

Well, I'm off to write personalized thank you notes to every guy I've ever dated, because, sure, some of them were selfish or stupid or controlling or still in love with their exes, but at least not a single one of them was a sisterfucker. And, for that, I am grateful.

Gurl. Do we have to tell you to dump a sister fucker?

family dynamics are messed up. She also may want to help her mom get out of this horrible relationship. And she may just straight up miss her mom. One of the kids I work with describes it like this, "I don't like being away from my mom, but I have a hard time being with her." Emotions are weird, yo.

Because you're a young girl with a fractured life and a history of abuse who's hoping to hold onto some fragment of normalcy?

Honestly, it's a tough call to make as a journalist — these people identify themselves with these stupid-ass names, and that's what they're most well-known by. (No one demands Lady Gaga be called Stephanie in these write-ups.) So there's a definite case for using these names, dumb as they are.

This is really heartbreaking.

I'm sure you didn't create this yourself, so I'm not aiming my vitriol at you, but this little meme is seriously fucking stupid. We'd all have "boyfriends" if our standards were such that we dated child molesters. Who even made this remedial thing?

Do you really need it explained to you every time you encounter a person with an unusual name or nickname? You seem to have figured out on your own that Pumpkin is a person, after all.

Pumpkin is a person. She's a teenager. She's called Pumpkin because her family gave her a nickname. The name on her birth certificate is Lauryn.

Oh hey, if your standards included the man who raped your child, then you could probably score a boyfriend too.

Why would you want to work on your relationship with your mother who's dating your rapist?

I worked as a corrections officer and had the pleasure to witness a large schizophrenic woman cover herself in baby powder before inserting plastic sporks into her vagina. Luckily for me and my co-workers, she then expelled them without the use of her hands.

To this day, I'm curious to know what happened on the set of 'House' to make her suddenly leave just before the filming of the final season, and refuse to return for the final episode. For years, there'd been rumors of homophobic and misogynist behavior coming from the crew (which makes me a little sad that Hugh…

That's too inappropriate for the 5 train, but this is just dandy:

A hint many people need to learn: know when to shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself.

I had a very bad Christmas when I was 16. On the two year anniversary of a sexual assault by a friend (always a hard day for me), I lost a good friend in a car accident. I lost another friend because she was driving the car while high and killed that friend. We never talked again. I almost lost my cousin the same…

This is actually a pretty big mistake that could have happened one of three ways, all of which are unacceptable. I have never worked at Joe's Crab Shack, but I have worked at other chain restaurants and at all of them food is sorted into categories in the order placing menu. So, either a) the server went into the…

I can say, as the father of a toddler, that a toddler's willingness to consume something is inversely proportional to how much the parent wants them to have it. It's like they have psychic powers, so I assume a toddler can slam down alcohol like Boris Yeltsin.