In my state they created a foolproof* method for preventing Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: they’ve used $500,000 of state money to install free pregnancy test dispensers in bars. Ostensibly they are to be used before a woman has a drink, just to make sure she’s A-OK to imbibe, but in reality they are emptied by people like…

YES. we watch john religiously. i can’t wait to hear him rip these guys apart. part of me wishes he had guests on his show so he can press them face-to-face like he did to dustin hoffman, but i also love that he can just destroy them and they’re not there to defend themselves.

YESSSSS!!!!!!111!1!

Why are we even dragging the troll out the greys?

Y’all, I found updates on the KimK TRO! DYINGGGGGGGGGGG.

and they make fun of me when I ride my bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we not leave Venus Williams alone? Jerome Barson’s family needs to accept the fact that his wife plowed their car into another vehicle and there was nothing Williams could have done differently.

“This is my regret face.”

Stop the presses - lawsuit dude lists his address as the same building my ‘base’ office is in (I’m usually remote). I’ll be there next week, I’m going to have to look into this!

I strangely believe every word of that lawsuit against Kim Kardashian. 

I going to need a translator for that lawsuit tweet. It’s hysterical and makes no sense. A lobster attack! Someone is getting smacked with a frying pan! What cartoon am I watching?

I’m not sure why you’d choose this sort of article to criticize someone’s appearance.

Slightly off-topic but did anyone catch Frances McDormand waving the cameraman out of her face so she could see Sam Rockwell onstage? Love that Frances can give no fucks.

but we’ve all said those things

After starring in alleged sexual abuser Woody Allen’s latest film, Justin Timberlake is out here cheesin’ in a Time’s Up pin like he’s clean as a whistle.

Ashton Kutcher’s friendship and business partnership with Danny Masterson makes me give his advocacy for sex slaves serious side eye.

Well, Golden Girls has always had a strong following in the gay community.

I might have to watch Scandal & HTGAWM again for this.

and is good-looking in that haggard, the-90s-were-rough-on-me way