In a similarly likely alternate universe, Samus is hot and real and my girlfriend.

This article reminds me that I can’t use my real name in Madden and FIFA games because it flags it as inappropriate. I have never seen an insult that comes close to my name, at least not in the languages that I (barely) speak. And is a somewhat common last name in Spain, the country where football (soccer) is like a…

For international readers unfamiliar with scatalogical grading scales, “Bullshit” refers to something terrible and low quality, but “Batshit” refers to something crazy and insane. “Shit” refers to something bad and “The Shit” refers to something exceptionally good.

Great, now I’m hornier. 

No your not missing anything, there is a reason it’s called Gender Dysphoria. It’s being shoved down children’s throats and it becoming “cool” to identify as such, like wanting to be an Astronaut or Fire Fighter. Studies show that almost all of them will grow out of it and be normal, unless it’s pushed by their…

Listen buddy, I saw a copy of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney on the shelf at a game shop years ago. I didn’t buy it but let me tell you, looking at the cover picture taught me a lot about the legals and the briefs, so I think I’m qualified to say that this is a clear-cut win for the claim-man against the bad-team, for a…

I can’t wait to rent it from Blockbuster!

I look at that big black monolith and my brain instantly adds in...

If you look there at the side of the PS4, you’ll understand why I feel like consoles really should be looking more like mini PCs than they do. I’m not a Microsoft guy, but goddamn if this big ass pillar isn’t a breath of fresh air after 15 years of losing consoles to cooling issues.

I think people outside of the game-o-sphere are more used to this kind of naming convention than they’re getting credit for. High-end machine has “X” designation, lower end machine has “S” designation, with Microsoft having ditched the middle of the road option this go-round, at least for the time being.

BUY A DEER AND RIDE IT AS A SHOW OF DOMINANCE TO OTHER DEER

You’re getting rescued from the grays for this comment, and you’ll have to live with that forever.

I spoke with Toyota’s CEO this morning about the threat their workers pose to our national security and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, …

Why do there always have to be one of you salty mkb elitists every time someone talks about how much more they get from a controller? You’re as bad as PS4 fanboys who need to shit post in every article with a sliver of good press for the X1.

Good is subjective. Maybe you are some pro pc player and it actually matters.…

Don’t forget Sony did it twice last gen. When they announced PSPgo at $250 with no UMD drive they said people will pay that price for it. Even though the standard PSP was still for sale at $130.

I do, it took me 3 years to get one. Then MS started it’s own bullshit with Netflix behind a paywall, timed DLC, killing studios and finally the grand reveal of the VHS Xbox DRM One.

The Park game is updated less often and is a bit older. Looks worse, plays worse and has less features.

WAs playing Half-Life Deathmatch on a map called Crossfire, where you can run into a bunker and hit a button that sets off an alarm, closes all the doors to the bunker after a short time, then nukes the map killing everyone outside the bunker.

Toxicity is relative, and, as with all things, more about our personal response. Stay stoic, my friend ;)

I’d say this kind of mentality obviously goes beyond what you find on the Internet. Just ask your best women friends for dating horror stories (if it’s okay to do so) and you’ll find out that this bullshit is everywhere. And not to stir the pot or anything, but I’d say it’s more visible in the conservative side of the…