But hey, you’re already dependent! That isn’t a dirty word, you love each other!

Everybody keeps some things bottled up. EVERYBODY. Because we fear not The Talk, but its aftermath: how can we live knowing somebody else knows the awful truth?

Ugh. I went through that too. I finally had a breaking point where I said something unkind, accurate but unkind, in public. “ We have 2,000 dollars in the bank right now. Your sneakers have holes in the soles. Do you think that maybe you don’t “feel comfortable” buying these $60 dollar sneakers bc you grew up poor and…

on the bright side, he doesn’t have to think about paying his phone bill for the next 1164 years!!

Most hitmen, robbers, psycho killers, etc., will politely wait for you to exit the shower before blowing you away.

can someone donate Beiber to a ZOO??

There is one note I’d make here that is actually a really big deal (in a sea of what is otherwise advice and analysis that I wholeheartedly agree with).

As I understand it, the PreCheck fees aren’t funneled back into operations, they’re siphoned off into god knows what other uses. Plus most terminals have a (inadequate) fixed space for screening operations.

You could easily put together a similar collection of shots from every great French actress ever. UGH All Isabelle Huppert does is grimace LOL!

A lot of people can’t even get a bank account at all. But going cash only can be risky and difficult. A prepaid debit card is a good middle area, and it can build your banking reputation (not quite a credit score, but if you have a banking history with lots of overdraws and such, you can absolutely get blacklisted…

That thing is nightmare inducing, but I want it. I don’t care who made it, it’s awesome.

Moving on, Nicole Kidman is 48 and pregnant with her third child with Australian flat iron salesman Keith Urban. (I forgot they had two.) (I regularly forget they’re married.) (I sometimes forget Urban exists.)

No healthy foods come in plastic wrappers. Plain and simple.

Hey! Deng Xioping died!

I also would like to submit Josie and the Pussycats for consideration

My single greatest regret about not having a child is not being able to announce to the world that I was having one :( :(

My wife has a variation on this in that she will often offer the flight attendants her gossip magazines. They almost always say yes with glee.

I don’t think that’s heartless to say considering that it wasn't her face and digits that got ripped off by the chimp she was so stupidly keeping in her home.

I don’t like Woody Allen films (or really, movies in general) so I like to pretend that I’m on some high moral platform and say “Oh i don’t watch his movies due to the fact that he’s repulsive.”