The only way Kendall Jenner would be smoking hot is if you set her on fire.

Nothing like a 39 year old creeping on a 21 year old.

Unbelievable what people will spend money on - they will pay for a machine to squeeze juice out of a bag. I buy fruit and squeeze it - saved $400! Actually I eat the fruit, unless I’m squeezing a lime of lemon in cooking or drinkies - because it’s better for you to eat the whole fruit.

Yes, even in progressive cities there is a lot of ignorance out there. Largely perpetuated by me.

One of my coworkers recently said they got their kid the new Zelda game. I said, I got it too. For myself.

Could also be:

I haven’t heard a fucking peep out of any of them since about a week after the election... which is about the only good thing that has happened since the election.

Oh Heath...I just loved him. He died just before my birthday and was the same age as my sister. I remember talking with her about his death because it was a mindfuck for both of us. Now I want to watch some “10 Things I Hate About You”.

My suggestion is that you just ask them to translate what they just said, though in my experience it’s usually something minor that you’re in a hurry to convey. When I slip and switch languages I know the least I can do is to translate the gist of what was just said.

I shower in the morning after my wake-up dump. I feel more confident during the day when I’m not constantly questioning whether or not I’ve done an adequate job cleaning myself. Those are thoughts that consume me.

Why would you need maternity leave if you are at home while your husband is working?

This sounds like a great idea. And since one I live literally 2 min away from CHQ and two I work here, I will pass this suggestion along.

I don’t think Bob Dylan applied for or asked to get a Nobel Prize. Some people aren’t comfortable participating in these sorts of overwrought, self-congratulatory things. If that’s the type of person Bob Dylan is, why should he participate in something he’s not comfortable with? Maybe we shouldn’t assume the worst…

Agree, he is acting like a massive berk, and it makes me like him less.

He’s been like this his whole adult life - wanting to resist adulation when it would be infinitely easier to be gracious about it or, at the very least, go with the flow.

I had the same situation, then dated that person for three years, and now we’re just friends and co-workers. It really depends on the maturity levels of everyone involved.

just remember that EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU.

I know this is supposed to be the Patrick show but it seems like you have a good understanding of your financial position. Maybe you should talk to your wife about longer term goals and get her on the same page. If bigger house is an immediate concern for your wife then maybe bring the kids into the discussion as…

On behalf of all introverts, I’ll say it for you: Shut the fuck up. :-)

I wish I had the guts to answer the question with that response! I’m amazed people think they have the right to ask me about the functionality of my/husbands reproductive parts.