There is a me though.

Haayy Margaret, add some wine into the mix and we got ourselves a Friday night!

With pleasure!

The true obscenity is how KFC treats the live chickens.

THAT IS THE BEST DOUBLE CREATURE I’VE EVER SEEN.

impressive that you read closely enough to make a connection

Yep. At first I asked him with that patented wifely combination of exasperation and kindness to please turn his socks the right way before putting them in the laundry, and he was all sorry, he’d try harder. He just kept forgetting, though. Finally, I just said, Okay, don’t turn them the right way, but I won’t either.…

Gavin Polone is Taylor Doose.

I communicate with my wife in text emojis and noises from three fart apps.

She probably would spend the whole time telling you how high she was, like great Taylor good for you, now shut the fuck up and watch planet earth like the rest of us

Someone on FB was like “what the fuck? Now either Netflix or birch box has to go”. Over $2? I understand budgeting, but she lives at home with her parents. If you can’t scrounge an extra $2, then you can't afford it in the first place.

MORE good news - She boils her pasta in smartwater

And trying to shit with a tampon in! Then begrudgingly accepting that you’ll have to change your tampon every time you shit, which will be approximately 30 times a period-day.

And have random giant poops/diarrhea. The amount of time I spend in the bathroom (and in fear) during my period is ridiculous.

It's really really bad for your scalp to wash your hair more than once, max twice a week. Plus it makes your hair overproduce grease. Trust.

All I see are his short fingered hands here, tbh.

Where do you live? Because I want to live not-fucking-there.

TBH, I’d probably need a cane to walk in heels of that height even without an injury.

Uh oh. I accidentally saw an email last night that my cat sent to this photgrapher setting up a special photography session with his wonderful owner NEXT WEEK.