This is my favorite story anyone has ever told me.

My husband once found googley eyes at work and brought them home. He placed them on everything in the refrigerator. It was very strange waking up at 6am and everything looking at me

If you want a sneak peak (presumably) and haven’t seen it, her story for The Moth is my favorite:

They just need someone to lend a helping hand.

She’s almost a year old, now, but this is Roxie 10 months ago! She was so grumpy-looking at first, and so tiny! Now she’s sixty pounds, hard to believe!

puppies!!! here enjoy a picture of my dog when he was just a tiny adorable poop machine

Is there a place for us to go should that happen? Another blog structured site where we could become Jez 2.0 even if it’s all written by the commenters? A place where the Kardashians can’t find us?

*Gets in the ungreying line*

i have a snowsuit (like a one piece ski thing) i wear when it’s winter and i have to shovel all the family cars and i pretend i’m a ghostbuster every friggin time.

Can we have Lindy come back as Jez Emeritus and do one more video review of eating gross things, like breast milk popsicles or bubblegum oreos or tree-flavored candy canes or something? PUH-LEASE?

I know but half the fun was the commenters. It wasn’t the same on wonkette and it’s less the same on Thrillist.

Can Pinkham come back for a BCO rerun?

Ungraying the poor people stuck in the grays who are not meany-pants, and occasionally post a silly comment.....asking for a friend....

Julian understands that time is relative and a social construct. This kid is mad advanced at physics, too.

Dear Julian’s Parents,

Nah. I’m Italian; grew up there. Italians are super into PDA. I grew up across the street from the Mediterranean, and it’s totally normal for women to be topless, both on the beach and strolling down the sidewalk to their cars.

There are plenty of super touristy places in Sardinia. I’m sure no locals were even near that beach.

It might be equally unlikely that he would have been president without her. They support each other’s ambitions and like most couples, drive each other’s destinies.

Nope, we can not all agree on that.

This is deranged and brilliant writing. I followed you basedon this post alone.