He has SO much energy, just exuberant all the time. His voices, faces, physical comedy and overall “game” attitude really endear him to me.

“Home is where the sex happens” carved into a metal sign.

Slang term for a sloppy homosexual: “Ugh, don’t look now but Darren is making his way over to us. He’s SUCH a fruit soup!”

In an email to Jezebel, Trump campaign spokesperson Jason Miller

Shiplap the Playboy Mansion! Signs saying what the rooms are for! (which would be HILARIOUS)

My mom owns that Betty Crocker cookbook! There is so much bizarre, dated food in there like that!

Has anyone yet said to his face, “you’re lying” or ask “were you lying then, or now?”? So far I’ve not heard anything like that, and it’s starting to piss me off.

I alienated a bunch of my Facebook friends because I posted and article about how “toxins” are not a thing and you don’t need to cleanse after about the 15th person I went to high school with started selling some kind of wrap/vitamin/cleanse scammy product.

I’d think that would take care of the Hefner being alive thing too.

I would not touch a thing in that place until it had been tented and fumigated for at least a month.

...vermicelli? WHAT?

I sent greg abbott a pic of a 1st trimester miscarriage.

Will known rose quartz crystal thief Father John Misty steal the one Katy Perry gave to Miranda Kerr, like he did the one from that tea shop in Echo Park?

It’s always amusing to me when people are like “but how do I tell my kiiiiiiiiiiids.”

I’ll have you know that I have now fallen into a rabbit hole of weird recipes. I think Eastern European food might be too strange for me.

Beets only exist as a food because the nobles wouldn’t let the serfs eat anything that tasted good. No one should ever have borscht unless they’re starving.

Dear old guy,

As a teacher, I’m mandated to report even if there is only hearsay. I must report to the designated entity as close to immediately as possible (usually an admin or head counselor, and verbally to protect the child), am required to have at least a written statement for the investigator, and always I check that the…