Ah, thanks!

Who here read the headline and thought they meant the first MGS? Disappoint.

"Hardin County Sheriff John Ward said those who go into law enforcement typically do it because they have a desire to shoot minorities...

She looks like Ashanti's mean older sister.

[receives iMessage from AHernandez81]

How about this:

Welcome, dude.
Bear Down. (ugh...)

"Cuz, it's......about........to go...........down."

You shut your word hole! You're a ticking time bomb of violence and you don't even know it!

I used to talk to my old cat Dinzo all the time. "You know Dinzo, the tricky thing about our relationship with China is..." and he'd just thump his tail on the floor a few times. That's when I knew it was time to get the hell out of the house and get a girlfriend.

Horrible garbage people. They are the only people who eat mayo.

Where they still have loading screens.

PEOPLE KEEP TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE EASTERN CONFERENCE, BUT WHO MAKES THE FINALS LIKE EVERY SINGLE YEAR!!!1!!?!

SPOILER ALERT: Jack Nicholson was spying for the NBA the whole time!

Can't wait to read Pressler's interview with the CEO of Merrill Lynch.

Dear Watt, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

Sure, he's fast, but nobody's fast enough to be in 6 places at the same time.

Sounds like a scene out of My Cousin Vinny.

I don't know what you mean by formal