this is good kinja

he tried to sideswipe the vehicle and missed us by a foot

People knew it was Winston when they noticed that nearby FSU campus police were looking the other way.

I'm starting to think that Goodell and the NFL are lying about their handling of the Ray Rice incident.

It's hard to believe he's still in college. Those are the motor skills and timing of someone who has been playing for years.

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

Teacher: Now Johnny, if Adrian Peterson has 3 touchdowns, 110 rushing yards and 40 receiving yards, but loses 2 fumbles, what will Mr. Peterson's end result be?

Non-football related thoughts:

1. Raise your coffee standards, Ferguson Jailhouse. Weak, bitter, and no finish whatsoever.

Even though she pitched a shutout, she did get hit six times, so after the game she apologized to Stephen A. for putting herself in that situation.

Twenty minutes later the Braves offered Upton a three year contract to play left field.

"Aww, thanks Justin! This will go well with the gift basket I got from Jeter this morning."

2/10. Needs more CAPS LOCK.

Every time I read your name I imagine thats's how John Travolta would pronounce Dylan McDermott's name.

I don't mean for this to come off as pretentious, but you sound like a jealous asshole who just hasn't enjoyed the purest form of the taco. Everything you have ever eaten in your life has essentially been garbage. Everything. Once again, I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but "taco meat" is NOT just the protein we…