Ma, just calm down. We’ll go take a walk around the lake in a little bit and you can tell me how things used to be.

I assure you my standards for folks ‘killing it’ on Twitter are unrelated to how adept you could ever hope to be at using the platform (I’m more going off of things like ‘observable cultural impact,’ i.e. #OscarsSoWhite).

I like the Clinton narrative that only young people are supporting Bernie at my WA state caucus site one of the largest in the state it was overwhelmingly middle-aged people ( like me ) and older people that showed up . And Hillary got trounced...

Yeah, us 30 something millennials are real straw men that need to be knocked over every now and again.

FYI ‘millennial’ is defined by the Pew Research Center as anyone born between 1981 and 1996, so the oldest millennials are currently as old as 35.

congress, iirc, is a consortium of village elders chosen to represent their hamlets by drawing straws. there, they compete in physical and mental competitions while also trying to collect as many golden eggs as possible. at the end of their sessions (the length of which is determined by counting the numbers of stars…

JFC. Democrats are being handed this election to them on a silver fucking platter, and they want to set it on fire. Support your candidate, don’t denigrate the other, and whoever wins the nod, vote -D. It’s really not that fucking hard.

it’s especially fun if you don’t check the comments for a couple hours! if you come back here at, oh, 2:00 pm EST or so, it should look something like this:

yeah, it’s almost like it’s not even worth it to comment. because most 40+ hillary supporters on my facebook feed seem to think that the comment sections on the internet are realistic representations of people. it’s like they’ve never been on the internet before.

oh look someone made a visual representation of every soon to be comment thread here

Woman accused of the disappearance and massacre of her eyebrows

See also: I HATE drama

I’m too intelligent for you guys

Emphasis on the “HIGH”

They’re called HIGH CHEEKBONES.

girl you know I am here for the rihanna stan time!! yasssss. Wish I had reasons to wear my furs ever (except I live in LA) and that I could pull them off like Ri.

No one ever asks them what they can’t do now that they could before all of this “black privilege” came along. Well, other than tell racist jokes without being called out on it or just assuming a black person will step aside and let them through just ... because. But I’m still intrigued by the answer that Mr. Domalick…

So, I want to be an underdog, but in power. Pretty please!

I’m shocked by this cheating scandal! Shocked I tell you! The Lakers players have never cheated on their significant others!

Of course he’s real. And for all you kids reading, Santa just is white. Like Iggy Azalea.