The filmmakers missed what could have been the greatest easter egg of all time by not making Humperdinck’s torture machine go up to 11.

You should do a listicle on all the foods for which “too much” does not apply.

90% of this is just “How Not to Be an Asshole Period”

My mother gave me the following parental advice: “Never assume a woman is pregnant unless you can see the baby’s head crowning.” And I’ve had good results following it.

Great article, however (and sorry to be that guy) Mountain Landis became commissioner after the Black Sox scandal.

Yep.  Homeownership is as much a lifestyle choice as a financial “strategy.”

This so much. See: “house poor”

And Netflix suing them for trademark infringement in 3...2...1....

You’re doing God’s work.

11. What happens if either of us stray?

Both my cars (a Lexus and a Ford) have actual sensors but neither displays the actual pressure nor indicates which tire is low. It’s just “Low Tire Pressure, Figure Out Which One Yourself, Buddy”

Right? It sounded somewhat like a horoscope to me.

Well, it’s part of the standard “Rocky Horror Picture Show” audience participation at some venues:

I’ve also never understood why this was needed - it’s not like you actually need to be connected to a wifi network.

Thank god I had no money (and credit cards weren’t a “thing” yet) in college.

Keurig [ducks] brewer but using the refillable pods and quality coffee which I grind myself. And [ducks again] a small amount of Israeli instant coffee, added to the cup before brewing.

This article veers disturbingly close towards excusing domestic violence.

“The best writing in the newspaper is found in the sports pages.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barleycorn_(unit)

Shoes almost always come in different widths from AAA to EEE (although not all shoes come in all widths).