Obligatory

this woman/man does not exist

Li'i Boy already served in the Peace Corps, now he goes on a mission too?

Tommy John surgery isn't that big of a deal...

DISBELIEF MODE

This is a nice rough draft of a Chappelle's Show sketch. Add a few more jokes and this could really take off.

I understand why hockey will never be the world's favorite sport. But, when I see goals like this, I'm pretty confident it is the most beautiful game humans will ever create. I just cannot imagine having the control of my body and the forethought to accomplish something like this. While on ice.

I tried the same tactic while appearing at traffic court the other day.

Bill Nye still believes in Global Warming. That's all you need to know about Bill Nye.

I have never been more proud to be a Cowboys fan than I am right now. By the way which NFL team has the most incarcerated fans? #1 Has to be the Raiders but I would think the Cowboys would be in at #2.

'Jackson said yesterday he handed the ball off because he "wanted that ball as a souvenir."'

The fact that balls are a synonym for testicles is also not the issue - but it's extremely important that we discuss it whenever possible.

I am a massive internet embarrassment

According to Lowery, Foscaldo snapped, "That isn't my f——-' job, you piece of s—-," when asked to keep the footballs warm after Jets kickoff specialist Don Silvestri complained the one he used to start the second half was "rock hard."

Am I crazy to think maybe the NFL should listen to it's QBs and lower the required psi for a game ball? Wouldn't a ball that is a little easier to throw and catch better for the game? And I mean, it's not like the AFC Championship looked like another sport or something, so we're not making some radical change here.

Here's a great and gross story about NHL dentists, and oh my god what's that thing lodged in Ryan Callahan's jawbone?

Therapist: OK. How about this one? [shows butterfly]

"That's God setting it up, to make it so dramatic, so rewarding, so special," he said, as he was untied by his father Abraham.

"Yup... God was responsible for those ill-timed interceptions. What he said."