I was hoping more for the eye socket. Wouldn’t it be cool if his eyeball exploded from a pitch?

Even after shedding his watch for improved aerodynamics, too!

In my high school German class, "fünf gegen eins" (five against one) was used as a code for masturbation.

Are golfers considered athletes? Exhibit A:

Deserving of a mushroom stamp of approval.

In fact, Zetterberg was doing something similar to Jamie Benn when Benn simultaneously concussed Zetterberg and every single Detroit fan at the same time.

And she's gonna nail that shit, too.

Well I'll be damned, my kitchen is a speed shop, too!

Eh, he looks more like a frequent Chuck-A-Rama patron to me.

Fapping the coach?

Wayne Simmonds solemnly stands alone.

Sweet Lord, the Chicago announcers are downright awful. No way in hell I'd be a hockey fan if I had to listen to that growing up.

Steve Bartman-in-hiding almost stepped in it!

Ffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvveeeeeeee???

This is a pretty good indicator of his size.

The "pig apologists" will eat gladly eat shot the day you eat a bullet.

Oh good, I thought I was the only one.

"You are..... NOT the father!"

That's how I react every time Crawford makes a glove save.

Same here. One of the Leafs reacts like it hits/almost hits him in the head. Either way, a shitty goal shared by two shitty teams. Enjoyable.