Both chuck toys haphazardly around the field, yet fake-peter man gets thrown in jail while Nate Peterman is starting on Sunday. 

How did that guy get the cover sheet off of Belichick’s playbook.

I can’t help but feel this is a compelling opportunity for NFL stadiums to sell more fried stuff.

To all the kids that are watching, I’m sorry. I set a bad example today.

But we all agree Marlins Man does not, right?

Surprised he didn’t just send one bomb to each side and call it a draw.

Alright, I really try to avoid the cheap shots at someone’s appearance, most certainly when it comes to young professional women, because not only are those comments cheap, they also come off as sexist and misogynistic. And there’s enough of that bullshit everywhere; I really don’t need to be adding to it, especially…

I won’t be happy until this guy is behind uneven bars

So, naturally he shanked one right when it meant the difference.

The Jags can’t run, but they can Hyde. 

Welcome to the Deadspin commentariat, Emmitt Smith!

Can Nathan Petersen choose them for you?  He’s the best when the time comes to pick six.

he doesn’t have the shooting range for the modern game.

Hopefully she’s able to get away while his foot is stuck.

I gotta say, respect to the Madden curse for really upping its fucking game. No resting on laurels there. 

Dumb Things About That Ninth Inning, Ranked 

Thomas was on Twitter yapping at Norman and retweeting stuff like this for more than five hours, so who was the real loser here?

Sessions. Just so I can blow marijuana smoke in his face and tell him I’m fucking his daughter.

I suspect that a few of them, in fact, may be belly itchers.

“Damn!”
-Yankees