“My fans don’t mind when I point out physical shortcomings of reporters.”

Where are the Tsarnaev brothers when you need them...

Shouldn’t there be bolts on that guy’s neck?

Not the first Haley to part ways with an orange-headed turd...

Cardinals do...

Montgomery did not speak to reporters after the game. “We were unable to reach Montgomery on this bloody Sunday.”

Sure beats “the Piles”

It helps when the guy you are pitching it to has alzheimers.

I watched it all also. My favorite part was Mary Hart mimicking Kimbrel.

For simplicity sake...the straight razor can take care of all three of your suggestions.

“Trailer trash stealing the vehicle of another great American.”

“Fifty Shades of Rubin” sounds like a sandwich at Applebees.

Shit! Am I responsible for that bitch?

They should have called him “the dork”.

”Honey, would you mind picking up the mail”

And now your big brother steps in...not exactly helping your case, Derek.

Not sure he could do that. He had at least 150 adjectives in there, alone.

The young ones always cry when they finally figure out what they are dealing with...

Then there was that time when Jim Abbott put his sandwich in the garbage disposal while holding it.

Until the post-game locker room.