Though I reached my between-the-legs-goal...my date assured me that because I was shorthanded it was one of her year’s worst.

You never leave early. You might miss the real show.

Slamma-lamma-ah-dinga-donga!

Fuckin’ hurry up...will ya’

My point exactly when they tossed me from my son’s elementary school playoff game.

Money talks...But it don’t sing and dance...And it don’t walk

Yes, Stormy would be believed...but we would all be traumatized.

Dammit! Who stuck a pin in Magic Johnson?

He’s a choosy mother...

Lifetime for me too...unfortunately, no one ever forgets how to spell mine.

Maybe, but remember to lift with your knees. If you try to hand Trump his ass you will throw your back out.

Must be...I can think of no other reason why a college didn’t hire Lavar.

And then of course, we will all have to pay to add more tanks to his parade.

He deserved the ruling. He was probably using a straw dog to complete his mascot training anyway.

So to that Kentucky fan the original Daniel-son was Boone?

We played mumblety-peg once at a high school party. There was a little, lasting damage. The good news was that the guy saved 200 bucks on a class ring.

Yes...brutal times for those of us on the other end of the spectrum.

Angelina Jolie said the same thing.

Look out now...Romo made a joke about Deon’s tackling acumen and Prime got butthurt. His skin is as thin as his analysis.

Abstennis ones are blue...