I mostly confused about how he doesn’t understand the difference between female ejaculation and peeing. Cause they aren’t the same thing really. I’m not saying they both can’t happen, but peeing isn’t usually my going to upon orgasm. Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong lo these many years.

- Find Mormons

Check.

what store can I buy my own version of you from?

You are honestly the most beautiful human.

I hope she just literally peed on him because he’s the worst.

AMEN

Like those onion cutting goggles. Honestly if you eat pussy right I don’t give a fuck what you have on your face. Wear a fucking Groucho Marx mask for all I care.

The day I decided I would not have sex with any man who didn’t first make me cum with his mouth was the day I left sexual purgatory and was admitted to Elysian Fields.

My thoughts exactly.

Dudes, first time I tried a blowjob I messed up and got a wad right in my eye. It was bright red for two days. Guess what I did not give up on.

I would comment on the nature of his article itself, but I knew he was a world class bullshitter when he humble-bragged that on his very first trip to the snackateria, he managed to make his partner squirt.

What, no link to your newsletter? TAKE MY MONEY

Lies! I studied economics in college, I use the internet and took at least 2 marketing classes so I know exactly what is going to happen in the future.

So the rehab went well...

This type of baby license comment always goes over well.

I need a button that brings up this .gif automatically, because I just need it too often.

Didn’t think I’d want to NOPE out of the world this early in the day.

Welp, I’ll just be in a corner weeping...