This beef is a distraction from the real issues like people caring about the VMAs.

Big Puppy.

You gotta be a next level of evil if you make a Walmart heir look sympathetic in a story.

“Mother?”

You and I both know dead bodies rested on that furniture and it’s futile to believe otherwise.

I’m not sure why you replied to me, but okay Debbie Downer. Why do people collect anything?

They just get fired.

OH! OH! ME! ME! Can I tell my Shirley Temple story? Of course, I’ve totally screwed up the punchline just by the subject, but here goes: 8 or so years ago, maybe 10, I was in the local market in Woodside, CA. I grew up in the area and I am in my 50s, so I’ve met a lot of people and I am pretty terrible with facial…

Awwww, my black heart melted a little reading that. Your grandparents are adorable.

JON SNOW + WHITE WALKER = MAD FANFIC HOTNESS.

That is legit the sweetest thing I’ve read this weekend. :)

Thank you, Ms. Rowling! Also, please do not publish a manuscript thirty years from now, in which we find out Harry has grown old and intolerant of Muggles.

My boyfriend almost only “calls” me in the car. This is what our boring commutes are for now: catching up with people. Phone conversations are also getting slightly old fashioned. Unless you live far apart, iMessage. Get together in person and drink some wine and bitch about your lives. If you live far apart, send…

Thank god I have your concern over $12 I spent

We did this, and it was actually kind of cute. The biggest problem was storage, and coming up with enough fish.

Huh, you don’t usually see KY preventing gay couples from coming together.

Now I’m imagining 7th Heaven re-edited with Hannibal Buress as the dad. Would watch.

The amount of the public still supporting him is substantial. His celebrity pals ought to be fucking ashamed. Whoopi Goldberg’s flippant joke about qualude use in the 80’s should have gotten her fired. They all knew this was going on, all of them. They are moral cowards.

I actually think a vodka luge would make any wedding ;)