I hope the delivery car plays a song like the ice cream truck when its driving down the street.  A little Pour Some Sugar on Me playing over loud speakers will create the full effect

I just can’t understand the parents in a situation like this. Couldn’t you have named him Andrew? James? Corbin? Ezra? Literally anything other than Richard would have been acceptable. I mean, I realize he’s probably Dick Pound the 3rd or something like that, but even if it’s the world’s shittiest family name that does…

I can't tell if this is sarcasm. She was convicted of insider trading, it's not like she killed anybody.

“Despite the risk of some employees potentially taking advantage of its leave by faking ill...”

Note: I also feel Diane!-adjacent when seeing Laura Kinney. Tales of the City lives in my brain.

Fun fact: smugness gives off no methane, while dairy cows fed with cheap feed give up 500 liters of methane per day.

Our unemployment is low because many of us have two, three and more jobs to make ends meet. These jobs are often the second or third for this person or family. Salaries have in no way kept up with the cost of living. I use this service because I work all the time. And I am a very skilled worker, who’s been discarded…

This is the problem with this country, we call the police on people who clearly need psychiatric care.

Nobody’s eating differently than they used to. This is the FDA’s polite way of saying, “With the original labels, we sorely underestimated how incapable and/or unwilling the average American is to do actual math, despite having an extremely powerful, accessible, and convenient mobile computer at their disposal.”

“I love my Fed-Ex guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it...and he’s always on time.”

my permanent motto for this is simple:

Hot take: as a business owner, if you arent complaining about the skyrocketing rent, but are closing because you will have to pay your employees a fair wage finally, you arent a great business owner to begin with. If 40K more a year is causing you to close, how successful was your business to begin with. Thats a…

The avocado. It was the focal point of so many cultural flash points - generational antipathy against millennials, panics about shortages potentially caused by deportations ad tariffs, using peas as a substitute in guacamole, just to name a few. 

“Let them eat cake” sounds better.

I really hope white clam is here to stay.

“Cake or Death” wins. Shut it down, we can all go home people. 

Please take your bad-faith whataboutism and cram it into the nearest orifice.

I legit carry cab fare (well, now it’s on my phone and it’s Uber or Lyft) when going out for my birthday because if they start singing at me, I will get up and walk out. I’ve done it twice, because people don’t believe me when I say that this is not a thing I want, ever. Sing at me at home, if you need to, but in a…

Yea, fuck you for needing/preferring the flexibility while knowing you’re being exploited. Why not go to Fast Food, an industry rife with wage theft and intentional variable scheduling so you can’t plan your life in more than a week or two in advance.

But it comes with a free Frogurt!