I’m just so excited to not have to have to run up and down every time I need to change out a load of laundry!
Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year! At this time of day! In this part of the country! Localised entirely within your kitchen?
Oh. My. God. That’s genius. You should immediately contact Mirena.
In any other situation blood that dark would mean imminent death. Instinct is real.
He is EVERYTHING. Even though “Lion” makes me ugly-cry every damn time, I’ve watched it like 30 times because of Dev Patel.
“Waiter! This hard boiled egg has legs!!”
Lol this response is funny, berating him for being an internet tough guy while trying to be one yourself. You could also easily give your advice to the yuppie idiots who take their kids to bars, they can either not go, rent out the whole bar so their kids don’t have to hear cussing, or go to a bar with a no swearing…
Here’s a pro-tip. Keep your kids at home until they can behave. Here’s another, even if they can behave, don’t take them to bars, or grub-pubs where adults are trying to have a good time with other adults.
Right? “YOU’RE BEING AGE-IST!!!” will be the pathetic rallying cry.
“The driver of the SUV was a 77-year-old man who thought the vehicle was in reverse, when he hit the accelerator and was in drive instead.”
Ah, it was that Diablo sauce compelling the man...
Finally, math makes sense!!
Don’t drink a liter of gin & tonic. —Kate
Yup. IRS plays no games.
“I don’t want beggars outside stores”
no, I work with animals.
Greetings in advance to the Fixer Upper fans who do not usually read Jezebel.com! Let me save you some time: Do not bother emailing me about my potty mouth because I have no intention of cleaning it up.
Pretty sure cows are making the milk. At least, I hope it’s cows.