Unfortunately, then you would become "The person who used federal funds to have the A0C (Architect of the Capitol) move you into the Downton Abbey office" and be the next headline.

my old boss's office was SO BORING in retrospect.

Ah, Forxcalibur. Alas, many a man has tried to free that fork from within the enchanted block of parmesan, but all that have gone North to this garden of olives have never been seen again.

It sounds like, either way, you run a legitimate risk of ending up exhausted and cleaning up poop. Damned if you do, dammed if you don't.

Gurl I hate to predict this, but based on this comment your cunty behavior has just begun and will probably drive everyone you know insane. How bout you chill the fuck out

Thank you for being the change you want to see in the world.

I don't understand. There's a mention of Charlie Hunnam and nudity, and yet no one has posted even one single CharlieHunnamSexGif. Is something wrong? Is everyone feeling ok?

are you sure his parents aren't Bostonians who named their kid "Cooper"?

It was a really cool train too. It had a whistle and everything...sniff.

Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

I'm wondering if we have to hire a skywriter before people will understand that we have no connection to NYC.

Gawd, I knew I would find this in the comments. The fact that it's feminists who are criticizing him the most proves that, once again, feminists are feminism's worst enemies. We say we want allies but I guess by "allies", we mean "silent masochistic punching bags". It's kinda sad when you're just as disgusted by the…

Still would.

Bert Macklin was practically a superhero when you think about it.

I'm pretty sure the kids who got to meet Captain America do not give a shit about all of that.

I thought this blog would suck, but it has really delivered on the crazy commenter front.

Explaining jokes just ruins them. If you don't get it you don't need to get angry. It's not some convoluted smart people joke.

I thought the "elaborate for us" thing was a bit obtuse. Pretty clear he meant the rampant misrepresentation of feminism in mass media, perpetrated by its enemies.

Ha! No thanks.

once I was out with my friends and they were talking about big dicks and I blurted out that I wasn't a fan and that I once tried to screw a guy with a big dick and it didn't fit. Then everyone laughed and one woman who was kind of the bitchy one said that MrPony must have a small package. That pissed me off and I…