No, you have a few and then shovel. It's way more fun that way.

Keep in mind, hangover snowshoveling is the worst type of snowshoveling.

Listen. My period is fine it's a natural process of my body. But you know it's blood and lining from my uterine wall. And no one is a monster for not wanting to see that up on screen, in a sexy context. Just like I'm not a monster for not wanting to see a girl blow some dude while he's on the toilet taking a shit. No.…

I dunno...I like my films to be a bit escapist, so even if I do that in my real life, I don't want to see the post-sex crime scene on the silver screen, necessarily. I see the good in realism, but meh.

I wish "Dismiss, Ignore, Flag" was stickied at the top of every page.

I only engage trolls when I'm drunk. Which leads to the obvious question, why am I not drinking right now?

You're fine. Thank you for not engaging with them. Dismiss, Ignore, and flag, folks!

What, are we supposed to treat inmates like human beings? Next you're going to tell me that actually are human being.

Don't look now but I think that Food Babe just wrote a blog post about scary chemicals in the bread at the circus.

But at the same time, there are foods in Europe that are illegal in the U.S. It really goes both ways.

"lizard people live under Los Angeles"

Being a nuttier-than-squirrel-shit lunatic is the path to fame and fortune in modern America.

But c'mon you can tell us - did the drummer in the story rub the air cymbal on his balls while birthday boy's head was turned?

Dang Seth, those abs are hiding under the vest?

Yeah, "stop posting these stories" is completely out of line. Plus, "because they bother me" is just annoying in that special-snowflake kind of way.

I'm in tears!

I snort-laughed in my silent office.

OMFG this gif!

After being confronted about this incident later by a few bold servers and some of the other regulars, he replied that he shouldn't have had to pay ANYTHING on that tab as he came to our fine establishment to enjoy (torment) the pretty servers and got stuck with a BOY.

It almost never happens, actually. And it's a fireable offense at basically all restaurants.