Really? Because he's really hot. I'd kinda like him to shoot me in the ass with his penis cake.

Well, then he's not completely evil, just mostly evil. I read those reviews...the place sounds horrifying even though it's surrounded by so much natural beauty.

Is somebody taking care of the poor cats?

No way you could do this on Grindr without at least offering a ten minute blowjob. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

As a resident of Cambridge, I see this kind of entitled behavior from grown up babies all around me. I just don't understand who these people are and how they manage to function in civilized society...anyway, Alden & Harlow now has another fan here as well!

You probably get sick of people saying they live for Kitchenette on Mondays but I live for Kitchenette on Mondays.

I agree. I was watching a CSI where they caught a suspect because, as they explained, he had sex then while he still had semen on his hand, he touched the toilet flusher and they got his DNA as a result. Now, I can be prissy sometimes but I thought that was unnecessary, especially since they clearly do that kind of…

I shoveled then I started drinking. Trust me, I'm a pro ;)

I'm in the new Antartica, Boston, and drinking heavily for all of us. God bless the new Ice Age!

Those abs, that face and that dong! Damn! And thank you Leighla Schultz! Thank you ever so much! And thank you Jesus & Allah for inventing revenge.

I live for these stories C.A. as does anyone who's worked as a waiter or in retail. You can have 99 wonderful customers in a row but that one idiot with a chip on his/her shoulder then comes in to shit all over you the way life shat over him and it ruins your week; your blog is a wonderful way to vent without…

He can't use his mother as an excuse. My mom is a lousy tipper: she just can't understand the concept, no matter how many times my brother and I have tried to explain to her that this is how waiters get paid because their salaries are minimal. But my brother and I didn't become lousy tippers as a result; in fact,…

You should be allowed to murder some of these customers. I know I wouldn't convict you if I was sitting on your jury.

No fucking work tomorrow...the snowpocalypse is here, again! We're all gonna die but not at work!!

Jesus would tip 50%. Unfortunately, he's not any more real than Bugs Bunny.

What's important is, you escaped Slumerville before the hipsters moved in. Good for you!

I usually get asked a question by Brazilians in Portuguese wondering if I can help translate this or that, assuming I too am Brazilian (there's a fairly large Brazilian community near me in Somerville, MA.) or "I thought you were Indian!" by people I've known for a minute. I don't really mind any of it, though I just…

It's a good thing for him he's so fucking hot...!

You know how you can get so embarrassed by something horrible that happens to you in public that you pretend like it didn't happen? Like if you farted at a funeral for your nanna in front of your whole family, for example. I guess then you hold your head up high, pretend like you didn't smelt it 'cause you didn't deal…

The Google results for Mitchum-Humpsterfumper disease showed this post as the first result and it still took me a second. I really need to stop drinking.