Yeah, no santimony from the Baptist university in fucking Texas at all.

Fuck the Dallas Cowboys and specifically fuck Jerry Jones.

Patrick also described Team Sky as a “merry band” and I’d buy those dudes as team Lannister for sure.

If Chris Paul wanted to escape from LA I just wish he would have waited until Carmelo’s escape from New York for continuity’s sake.

We’d probably be better off selling Nelson Cruz.

I’d like to believe that he refuses to acknowledge that Kurt and Kirk are different names, the way I assume all Meegans are just insufferable Megans.

Allen doesn’t go around mocking your attsenc.

C’mon now. Vagina dentata.

I can kind of wrap my head around the kind of logic that would make it taboo to attack when a guy’s bike fails during a stretch of the race when the peloton is just coasting, but how the hell does racing etiquette dictate that if an idiot makes a wrong turn he can’t be punished for his error? Did they assume he was…

Not even the best hair on the Mariners. Ben Gamel by a mile.

Maybe cirrhosis was already taken? That style of beer has never really been my thing but if the chief attribute of your brew you want to highlight is how drunk it gets you, it’s probably not a beer I want to drink, regardless.

Most of us are numb to his cycle of drinking and quitting and drinking again, and as a result we don’t get our hopes up anymore, which is as close to making our peace as possible. Your kind thoughts are appreciated, though! Hoping for a better prognosis for your dad.

There’s a silver lining. I used the experience as a prompt for the research paper that I needed to finish law school. For anyone out there who may have built up a dependence on alcohol and is looking to quit, please start with a medically supervised detox. It’s not just your own health you’re risking if you go it…

I learned this lesson when my grandma asked me to sit with my alcoholic uncle as he tried to quit cold turkey and progressed into delirium tremens. He was conversing with people who weren’t there, got paranoid and was convinced my brother (who lives across the country) had stolen things from him. I called the cops…

BUT WHERE DOES SHE STAND ON THE SODO ARENA?

I’m irrationally mad the video cuts out before showing White Chocolate hit the floor.

And together!

It has one very big problem, but it’s not the silhouette of the state.

My dog ate lots of gauze off of his bandaged knee following a surgery (it was a successful surgery). That motherfucker shat out turd, gauze link, turd. He pooped nunchucks. How hardcore is that!

Where do they put the crowd? I’m guessing it’s in that fescue. There’s going to be lots of eyes to point out a very small area to look, and it won’t take long before the grass has been stomped into a mat. It’s not a worthy of complaint until a golfer hurts a wrist trying to hack out of it.