This man’s never seen a Cohen Brothers film in his life!

It sounds to me like this woman wants to get infested with cockroaches. 

Papa Murphys is all over the Midwest and at least as Far East as PA.

Leonard likes this post.

I think a “They Live” style, 2 hour long alley fight between Stallone and Roseanne is the healing elixir this country needs right now.

Watch out Nessie, that shit grinning putty monster’s gonna attack you!

She’s still my favorite newscaster in the business. But PBS just lost my $10 yearly donation. Good luck keeping your operation going without my deep pockets and extreme generosity. Good day.

It’s English tradition that when picking up a dropped item, one should put it in their mouth for a short period of time. This is seen as a sign of submission and will be appreciated by your Anglo friends.

The recipients did report side effects including getting hungry for dinner around 4pm, driving 20mph max, and a general unease when confronted with new technology. 

Fun Fact: Roughly half the money owed to France was actually unpaid child support for the dozens of Benjamin Franklins bastards spread across Paris.

Now I don’t have to drink alone!

Mike Love is a clenched butthole, I mean asterisk, to one of the greatest bands of all time. His participation trophy is a figurine of him kissing his own butt.

I saw Eugenyl Methyl Ether play a small club back in the mid 00's. They suuuuuuuuucked.

You'll get the more cancer, less flavor crunchberries and you'll like it.

Actor/Rapper/Hero

Another thing we’re better then the rest of the world at: getting attacked by sharks.

Stapp doesn't leave this world until his mission is complete and the Angel T.I. wills it.

“I like mammoth steak, I still like mammoth steak. There have been times when I’ve had too much mammoth steak but never blacked out after eating to much.”

Well, some really good points in a well written article, but now I just want to see Michael Cera in the Social Network with Ron Howard on narration. Can't think about anything else.

Maybe if you’d brought enough for everyone and not just the football team, you’d be queen now and not facing felony charges.