"Brandy" done in classical chamber style, i like

I've listened to the evidence from both sides and now believe I am stupider for having heard it. I rule in favor of no one. Go home, smoke a bowl, and think about the poor choices you've made that led to this situation.

That was my bag too. There is a reason Civ and Sim City 4 became my favorite games.

Like all other bots, within a week it will be racist as hell and drawing Mason-Dixon lines on everything while complaining about how KuKluxKlania was better in the past.

I wear the sunglasses now to avoid eye-contact

Bye Bill!

She'd be one of the Germans?

Yeah, this isnt the weed. Most of these people are just dumb.

Fool me once Nintendo, shame on you. Fool me twice…. Fuck you Nintendo.
- A person tricked into feeling hope when the Nintendo Classic was announced but who still can't find one at a fair price.

All I know from TV is that if you are an old lady living in a rent controlled apartment, the landlord will try to kill you.

Buckford or Buford? Buford or Buckford?

I need to scrub that Ventriloquist shit from my eyes and ears. Its like a goddamn nightmare play.

Are they killing and eating the old one this weekend before the Easter Egg fight?

"The ability to watch an animal slowly dying and feel nothing" is a strange requirement.

Thats the pilot

I am proficient in kickboxing, screaming and have a general distaste for my fellow humans, but most importantly, I know how to say "Sorry"
Please consider this my resume as I will not be submitting a formal one, fuck you if you feel otherwise.

Still cuter than the "Tickle-Me Steve Buscemi" doll i got my kids

I just had a wonderful image of suburbanites with lawn implements storming the county administration building. The revolution will start at Lowes.

This Thanksgiving your racist uncle's impressions, while still wildly offensive, will at least be linguistically accurate.

I've got a full back tattoo of Jerry Orbach, who is looking disapprovingly at whom ever is walking behind me.