It’s good because I knew from the start that is was coming, and it still managed to deliver. “Turf toe” was perfect pitch. The Magary-style aggressive capitalization works, too.

This is not a Santa beard. This is the look of a homeless man who was taken off the streets and cleaned up to stand behind the city council while they have a press conference extolling the virtues of their “labor-for-soup” program.

Surprising to see him get the sack as an edge rusher; usually Peace comes from within.

Seriously. He makes great cookies.

Actually, isn’t the city’s biggest celebrity a fictional character from a movie?

I have driven an hour+ to get some Sheetz.

They worship gas station food.

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

Not as funny as a kicker named “Blewitt.”

looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

Oh for fucks sake. I was going to just save all of my frustration to unleash on today’s Why Your Team Sucks (Bears) and then move on with my fucking life. Had a little plan to get some work done, think of a few things that have been gnawing at my soul since that fucking missed kick and then welcome all the “haha go…

It is probably like calling Comcast or Time Warner to cancel your service because there is finally another option in your town.

No mayor’s been thrown in the clink. Dixon narrowly avoided it. However, two former police commissioners have seen the inside of a prison. Darryl De Sousa’s there right now. Pugh... we’ll see what happens.

Jesus. With hobbies like this, I bet this guy is an extra virgin.

No way does a storm trooper actually throw a pitch into the strike zone.

I mean, it’s complicated. You come for our city, especially in the purely racist manner in which the president and his sycophants did, we will come for you. But I don’t think fans were monolithic on Ray Rice they way you suggest. I think the Ravens should have cut him immediately and that had Goodell gotten it right…

Pit beef, I would argue, is more a regional thing than a strictly-Baltimore thing, but your point stands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All true. And though I’ve only been to Baltimore a handful of times, I can say without reservation that pit beef is the fucking shit. It has bothered me greatly for years that Baltimore has this totally kickass sandwich that almost nobody outside the city knows while the Philly “cheese” “steak” has…

And most (all?) of John Waters’ films.