What a coincidence! Her new name is Rivers-Curry, and that is also the name I gave my diarrhea last night.

Looks like my Nana has better sources.

Thanks for posting this. Some hilarious roasting comments on his twitter feed. Looks like my Nana has better sources.

Chris Broussard is on it, everyone:

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

There should be a short dash and a long dash

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old and I love getting up with the 3 month old on weekends when he wakes around 7-730. Some quality daddy and baby time then he goes back to sleep 45 minutes later and I make coffee and sit on the deck and chill in the fresh morning air until the 2 year old wakes up (sometime after 9)…

Getting close to that stage.... “Oh you’re up, good, there’s an acre of weeds that needs a pullin’”

“Go ahead and sleep in, we don’t have any plans today.”

I was just in London for work and several of us went to an authentic Neapolitan place that made giant personal sized pizzas. Of course they are delivered uncut, and one of my colleagues was confused and incensed by this. She proceeded to ROLL THE GODDAMN THING UP, and ate it like a giant Neapolitan pizza-burrito.  I…

Abolishing the family unit is the one of the stupidest ideas I’ve heard in a while and I’m spending quality time with adolescents with behavioral disorders.

Right, as a driver I have a right to not get a manslaughter charge because a cyclist decided they needed to ride between lanes or run a stop sign in the city.

He’s alive!

My family has had White Sox season tickets between home and 1st base, 18 rows up, for the better part of 20 years. Not a humble brag, just means we’re dumb enough to pay more than the seats are worth at this point.

It still pains me to think the Tigers had a rotation of Verlander, Scherzer, Fister, Shanchez and Porcello and got swept in their only WS appearance. And then add in the bats they had...

This bird is really hoping you didn’t notice that fart.

Fixed the New Orleans Pelicans logo for you.

Even aside from how dumb this whole interview is, like come on with this, man:

It’s your brother? Just whack him with the grill tongs and then punch him in the throat. He’ll learn.