Dave Semenko did rip my arm off once.

That reminds me, I need to go take a shit.

I'm seeing Angelina Jolie more in the Crawford role these days.

Oh my, that was delicious.

*sinisterly giggles with anticipation*

I doubt they'd be bothered.

You had me at Hayley Atw

You ok there, pal?

*lazily wafts cloud of canceraids spores in what's hopefully the right direction*

I'm still hoping for "violently shitting himself to death on live tv".

I don't doubt you for a moment, and quite frankly I'm sure the entire press corps would welcome it at this point.

What if they put in a putt-putt for him? With windmills and whatnot.

I figured it was a coyote, which makes losing a battle of wits to it even sadder.

*cry laugh emoji upvote*

I've seen weirder shibboleths.

We invented ice cream. Aside from that, we're a pretty shit species.

We had our shot and we fucked it up. The robots can't possibly do any worse than we did.

Oh thank god, there's still something on the Internet that I'm too young for.

Oh for fuck's sake. Shit like this really makes me miss booze.

Clusterfuckocracy