“Whoopsy! Boy is my face red!”

I wouldn’t, but my mom probably would.

I accidentally made eye contact with a woman once and she accused me of rape and now I’m posting this from prison. :(

Ha ha, you think I could ever hope to look cool.

That’s certainly why I’m still in the midwest.

Those pants look like something out of a French comic book.

With those braids all I see is:

I knew there weren’t hot singles in my area dying to hook up with me.

Considering the situation we have going in I’m dreading it, mostly.

Can’t fool me, dead lady.

‘Cause they paid him?

I’m not sure I see how 85 or 100 would be bad.

God dammit. There goes any chance of enjoying today.

I’m sure it’s no coincidence that The Wedding Singer is about the only Adam Sandler movie I still like.