I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this Tom Ford guy before, but he sounds like an insufferable buzzkill asshole.

It’s whatever you want to to be, with the power of imagination!

You can get 144 vampire teeth for less than eight bucks.

BEEP BEEP, HERE COMES KITTY

So how many fedoras do you own, exactly?

“We have your president, what now suckers!”

Times like this I wish I could afford one of those converted underground missile silo houses.

(The joke is that Square Enix characters typically have ridiculous hair.)

You’d think they could hear the crinkling when they move, though.

He looks like a Square Enix character’s lawyer dad.

This sounds like one of those books that is both really good and absolutely soul-crushing.

For some reason it reminds me of the covers to the Southern Reach Trilogy, only those were effective and somehow managed to match the creepy tone of the books and this just looks like it’d be on some kind of generic kitschy coming of age story or something.

Any kids I end up having (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) will be calling me King Idiot.

That looks much more interesting than Passengers.

Jennifer Lopez is in this?

I don’t know, getting involved with a Stark seems like a really bad idea.

Well this is fucking depressing.

Times like this I’m glad I just use my tumblr to share stuff I think is neat/occasionally complain about my anxiety and depression and almost never actually interact with anyone.

Wait for him to go home to New York for the weekend, change the locks and pile his stuff out on the lawn.