Usually when women friend me out of nowhere on Facebook they want me to buy bootleg sunglasses.

I always found it amusing that our Jewish mother was always the one who cared the most about decorating for Christmas.

I don’t have any recommendations but Arrival was amazing.

I was very amused when like a day after saying I never do anything for NaNoWriMo I started a new story without even thinking about what month it is...thereby taking part in it without even meaning to.

Our uncle said some stupid shit (and got chewed out by our grandma for it), but other than that it was alright. Afterward I went to see Arrival with my little sister and her husband. (It was very good.)

I’m not a big app guy, but I’m rather fond of Sleep Sounds HQ. Basically it’s a bunch of ambient recordings (rain, wind, chimes, frogs, birds, etc.) to help you relax. There’s a free version but I think the full version is only like three bucks?

My uncle told us all about a study he’d read about that found that black people, on average, have an IQ just barely above the upper threshold for mentally handicapped. He then went on about how violent they are and how he “wouldn’t rent to ‘em either.”

I’m still hoping I’ll wake up.

Does she think we’re elves or something?

Apparently of my mom’s (former?) friends was involved in a top-secret military operation back in the ‘80s, where his team assassinated the real Castro and replaced him with a CIA double. Or so he says.

One time I was at the mall and I heard a loud grinding sound and I came around the corner and Tom Hanks was standing there with a running wood chipper and a big sack labeled KITTENS and he was reaching into it and pulling kittens out and throwing the kittens into the woodchipper and all the blood and stuff was…

Hey, what’d the Tharks ever do to us?

Weirdo.

Oh wait I just remembered there’s also Sheryl Nome from Macross Frontier.

Y...yaaayyyyyyy...?

Up until now the only other person I’ve encountered with this birthday was literally one of the dumbest human beings I’ve ever had to work with.

I wish I could just sleep for four years without a bunch of buzzkill “doctors” calling it a “coma” and putting me in a “hospital” and sticking me full of “tubes.”

Jesus, that’s awful.

I just got off my lazy ass and got Arby’s.