I can’t say as I’ve actually cried at any of these, but then definitely get me choked up and misty-eyed:

Fuck’s sake people, couldn’t even make it three three days.

None of my knives are hidden inside non-knife things, because I’m boring.

My mom has a sword cane.

That’s one huge rabbit.

Kid Rock confounds the hell out of me because one minute I’ll hear he’s a super nice dude, then I’ll hear that he’s exactly the redneck trashbag asshole one would expect him to be, and then someone else will talk about what a cool guy he is again.

Shut up with your optimistic bullshit Mark, Wednesdays are awful.

Everything about that spaceship design offends my sensibilities as a space opera nerd.

I’d probably go full nerd and mention the time I met Robert Bakker or crashed in Doug Henderson’s camper.

One of my least favorite things about working with a boy-crazy 17-year-old is constantly having to hear about the time she TOUCHED JUSTIN BIEBER OH MY GOD!!!

Nah Yoko, I’m pretty sure my dreams were among those that got broken.

Even ignoring that they’re Crocs (an insult to crocodiles if there ever was one), I don’t understand how just haphazardly gluing crap onto things like that is supposed to look good. It just looks out of place and half-assed, like a rushed last-minute entry to an arts and crafts contest.

Yup. These are curious sharks, not angry sharks.

I’m really sick of this country’s fetishistic sports obsession.

I just don’t understand people.

Oh great, just what we need here in the midwest: yet another reason for idiots to be afraid of people who don’t look, talk, or worship like them.

That’s why I mostly watch shows set in space.

I am ready for life to “get better.” Yes, I “care less” now that I’m in my 30's, but it’s literally because I have to.

Weak brag: I got two hilariously small lenses for my camera(s) this week!

Now, I’m not saying Taylor Swift likes to go around hitting pedestrians with her car. That’s not what I’m getting at here at all.