As a McDonald’s employee, Trump’s fondness for our product fills me with shame.

This whole doxxing thing has really gotten out of hand.

I’ve long accepted the reality that I am not, have never been, and never will be hip and/or with it.

Wait, so you’re telling me this copy of Obama’s birth certificate that I found is a fake?

I haven’t really minded it the few times I’ve done it, but then again we just have a dink-ass regional airport that doesn’t require you to walk like five miles to get to a gate.

Unless I’m mistaken that is an Egyptian goose, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my duck-obsessed friend it’s that Egyptian geese are assholes.

Christ, she looks terrified.

They sound like 14-year-olds trying to pass themselves off as cool grown-ups online.

I am really glad I grew up like half a block away from the university I ended up attending so I never had to live in a dorm.

Ehh, you can just make more.

Dude looks less “creepy” and more “annoyed because he got lost on the way to a kid’s birthday party and ended up in a damn cemetary, how did that even happen.”

The one time I’ve heard it actually used to refer to people it was by a dude a couple years younger than me (so like, thirtyish).

Those people bug the hell out of me too. Literally no one cares if you say an item name that you think is dumb.

This is yet another reason why I only ever want cats, not kids. Haha stupid cat, I’m gonna show all 93 of my Facebook friends pictures of you rolling around half-asleep on a chair and YOU CAN’T DO SHIT.

Need to work the moon landing into it too.

You’re part of the problem, you know.

Futilely?

...So a French Watership Down?

a message that read, “You said you liked it rough and so I gave you what you wanted.”

How would that even go I wonder.