#FireBylsma

Why wouldn't these people move to the plethora of seats on the lower levels?

Joe Buck won Best Play-by-Play Commentary. Of course these awards are a joke.

Those ambulances seriously want that freakin' banana.

Philadelphia: Eagles fans boo the retirement of Donovan McNabb. In with boos, out with boos. (Yes I know where Philadelphia is. The NY annotation was blocking it.)

Chicago: Derrick Rose makes some other stupid reason for not coming back.

Montreal: Lars Eller got fucked up.

No. Like legitimately eating chocolate. As in "I am calling this press conference to announce that I ate a 3 Musketeers bar this morning."

THIS is where Pittsburgh is, not on the border of West Virginia. Can't believe how many people get this wrong.

So Jason Collins came out as gay. What's the next thing we're going to get ____phobic about? Is it going to be a big story when someone comes out as a chocolate eater?

Pirates 9, Cardinals 0: Believe it or not, the Pirates are in first place in the NL Central.

Ottawa 4, Boston 2: In the final game of the NHL regular season, Montreal clinches the Northeast division and Ottawa clinches not having to play the Penguins.

Oh, please have 60 minutes of empty net. Please yes.

Geez, no love for PA

BREAKING: In an effort to keep the Slam Dunk Contest interesting, competitors will now be dunking footballs.

Go home mouse, you're drunk.

Hurr, I catch brown thingy!

I had the Steelers at 6-10, and that's generous considering I had a win over Tennessee in a very losable game.

+internet

The other day at the gym I was sweating with massive BO and unleashed the biggest and nastiest-smelling dump of all time. Is there a worse combination of smell on this planet? I think not.