On April 20 (do the math), my boyfriend and I decided to hit up the Taco Bell drive-thru for breakfast. When we pulled up to the window, the cashier asked what sauce we wanted. I apparently asked for a sauce that was discontinued. She said, "Only true Taco Bell customers know that one."

AND PLEASE FUCKING FLUSH.

This is like saying, "I don't understand why people still wear pads when they could be using tampons!" Everyone's body is different. Everyone has different levels of comfort. Not to mention, not everyone lives or works in a place where rinsing out your period blood in a communal sink would be acceptable or even…

Weird, because I assume that Chase customers have no problem buying condoms from their local liquor store or a CVS, right? And I bet Chase customers can go to some sex toy website and buy $5,000 worth of dildos using their Chase credit card with no denial of payment, yeah?

This is why I fear Scalia more than any Justice. Some days, I wish I could invent a time machine and somehow convince a young Scalia to pick up, I dunno, plumbing instead of law. Then he could have just been an old, cranky dude with a blog that no one reads instead of the most powerful sexist bigot in America.

I'm gonna start blaming the California drought on all the crunchy cloth diaper moms that congregate at coffee shops throughout Silver Lake.

That's what happened to the chick I went to high school with named "Whitehead." Not sure why she didn't change it sooner.

You're already a famous model raking in millions, but you feel the need to become a singer, too?

The Del Taco veggie burrito (no rice duh) was my lifesource in college.

Dude, this is the Jezebel norm. If you dare to show your face in the comments section to ask why people like a certain TV Show/Celebrity/Movie while also expressing your disinterest in said TV Show/Celebrity/Movie, people will tear your to shreds. So much for civilized discussion, yeah?

And it's exactly the same reason why I've never been motivated to watch it at all in the first place. Aren't fantasy shows supposed to be an "escape"? Yeah, I don't feel like escaping into rapeville.

This kid is from my home town.

Great America is not a Six Flags theme park. Has never been, and I don't think it ever will be. Also, its parking lot is now the home to the new 49ers stadium.

Catholics are "Christians" only in the sense that they believe in Jesus. Aside from that, the two branches could not be any more different.

I was raised Catholic, but I honestly can't think of a time when I wholly, truly believed in any aspect of the religion. Even as a little kid — preschool, kindergarten — I always thought Church was boring, and I had a hard time actually believing in all that mystical nonsense. I was pretty into science as a young kid,…

Sadly, while Jews and (most) Catholics are taught to only take the New Testament as "moral parables," Christians are taught to believe EVERYTHING in the Bible is true because God wrote it, or whatever.

My boyfriend and I are big on the motorcycle day trips, too! (Although his bike has been out of commission after a bad accident a few months ago. He's slowly rebuilding it.)

My boyfriend is a metal worker, too! He's made me so many beautiful gifts since we've been together — but I don't have the heart to tell him I'd want to buy a ring, not have him make one. I don't wear jewelry, so when push comes to shove, this really has to be something I LOVE and is perfectly small and understated so…

My boyfriend and I actually discussed this. We're both very anti-WIC and anti-tradition — not to mention, he was raised in a very liberal feminist household, so the "traditional" marriage stuff wasn't even something he was exposed to until he was older. We both agreed that "getting engaged" should be something we both…