wirelessjoe
Gin and Panic
wirelessjoe

Hear me out:
You want a car that gets relatively good mileage, is relatively reliable, has enough cargo room for a family of 5 or 10+ bags of soil (sorry, Cybertruck), is quirky for the kids, easy for the olds to get in and out of, and is relatively inexpensive to buy and maintain.

I don’t have photoshop or the time to fire up Paint; please use your imagination.

I want gullwing doors that turn into wings and the ability to take off and land a car in less than a block’s worth of road using jet power from the exhaust. Oh, and they should shoot lasers. Second choice would be the motorcycle/helicopter.

Wait a minute, driver education is counter to “American values of individual freedom”?

Agreed; maybe just a 2-tier system, 5 over for 45 MPH or less, 10 over for 46 MPH or more. But they shouldn’t leave “10 over in a 20 MPH school zone is good enough” like they have now.

We can’t add more comprehensive driver education or enforcement via hard limiters or ticketing, that’s completely counter to American values of individual freedom at the expense of societal safety, so we have to resort to nagging. My GPS already turns the little MPH indicator sign on the screen red when I’m speeding,

Well, there goes that bonus.

The perfect thing for plucking orphans off of raised railroad bridges.

Haha got dismissed, I guess. Reposting for the benefit of those “this is dumb and lazy” replies:

The European mind can’t comprehend this. What’s the use of bicycling if you’re not blocking traffic in heel clips, full spandex, and wraparound shades like you’re training for an Ironman Triathlon? Look at these lazy assholes. I bet their heart rate never leaves zone 2, how are they supposed to max their gains like

This is NOT a fair comparison! Why didn’t MotorTrend use a manual Cybertruck like they did the Porsche? Every car guy knows rowing your own is faster than slushboxes, giving the Porsche a clear and unfair advantage.

Yes.

So it just has to be behind a 6' fence; do they mention what the fence has to be made out of?

But officer, Freebird was playing.

I guess Twitter really needs that Tesla ad revenue.