I just try to remember to screw the cap back on as tight as possible without being so tight I need to get a towel to unscrew it again.  

9. Turning them on before Thanksgiving.

Go ahead and put up your lights in mid-October while it’s still warm out, but for goodness sake don’t plug them in before Thanksgiving. It’s bad enough that radio stations switch to 24/7 Christmas format on November 1; don’t add to Christmas creep.

He looks like witness protection Dr. Phil.

1986 AMC Eagle

“Taking responsibility” would be selling a couple billion of your stock and using that money to pay your employees.  

You Too? I don’t even know what I was banned for; I’m un-greyed just about everywhere else, and I’m pretty sure I’m a reasonable person. No appeal process, no way out. You’re just black holed.

Here’s How to Help Protect Yourself

Kanye West: I can’t believe how quickly I destroyed my career and ruined my reputation.

And can you believe what she did to Weird Al?

When I was young and poor, I used to work as loss prevention at Fred Meyer (a store kind of like what Target and Walmart are now, with soft goods and grocery all in one roof.) Fresh out of college, I made dirt pay and often couldn’t afford groceries.

Anne Hathaway plays Andrea Sachs (Andy), who has parlayed her time at Runway to become the editor-in-chief of a left-leaning group of online publications “Squaker” that starts small but grows quicly by purchasing a variety of properties that report on things like sports, tech, cars, women’s issues, gaming, life hints,…

Can I buy a verified variant of the Fox News handle (like @FoxNewsCorp☑) and start putting out “official” breaking news tweets?

So...all of them.

Still going for the 1978 Ford Pinto.  

1978 Ford Pinto.  And not just for their penchant for exploding.  

This is what Blexit should be.

Any car that’s 100% paid off.

Are you an heir to the vast Brach’s or Jelly Belly fortune? If not, you should probably try to find peace because candy corn will be terrible forever and will be derided every October until the end of time or until the last piece of candy corn decomposes.  Debatable as to which will happen first.