It’s the fictional award they give to the guy who wasn’t as good as the guy who won the AL Cy Young.

Did she ask to speak to their manager before or after the recorded portion of the exchange?

Naw. The “omg” in the burner name is evidence beyond a reasonable doubt of a college dropout between 24 and 28 years old, definitely white, probably the product of a broken marriage, and almost certainly suffering from early-onset male pattern baldness. The “so” also indicates a lack of meaningful relationships due…

Ok.

You dumb cunts think this about some fuck-ass sports non-rivalry. Hundreds of women and girls have been victimized by predators — yeah, plural — because of Sparty’s willful ignorance. But yeah, it matters that she went to school in Ann Arbor.

Shut yo mouth.

I mean, we already knew Oprah’s minge could talk. Hell, it robbed a bank.

Tennys plays tennis? And that’s not the most ridiculous thing about him? OK. This is reality. Sure.

More.

Give me a heartbreaker over a blowout without question. As an Indians fan who was at Game 7 in 2016, I will always remember the deafening sounds of pure bliss when Rajai Davis hit that home run. I will always remember the nervous excitement waiting for the rain delay to end. And I will always remember that I was in…

Water claims it’s not wet. Sky claims it’s not blue.

Grits. Wait. Isn’t that how that’s supposed to work?

Literally today just finished the finals for my finals for my first semester of law school. Now, I know I’m not *qualified* per se to be a district court judge starting, say, tomorrow. But this guy gives me hope — just have to find a place to sell my soul first.

Boo.

I love Stitch. My puppy looks like him when he’s lying on his back.

“Jones is a puppet.” “Moore will always vote with us.” Cognitive dissonance at its absolute apex.

Look. I get it. This is crazy. But this is the case in almost 40 states. So insane, but not on the list of reasons — and it’s a long list — of why we should excise Alabama.

More like “Sch-oh, no!” amirite?

Comparing Vucevic to Boogie is ... my head hurts.

I don’t mean to challenge your bonafides as a real-life NBA player, Mr. Wroten, but these comparisons are not good or accurate.