My mom was so out of it when my dad died over the summer that she accidentally chose an urn shaped like a turtle for his ashes. My sister and I lost our shit laughing/crying when we received it and my mom just stared at it in horror. Dad would have gotten a kick out of it. Edited: sorry about your dog.

My mom and dad always read to us. Which, for me, inspired a love of reading (until I got to grad school) and for my sister was her only way of digesting literature because she had fairly serious dyslexia that even my conscientious parents begging questions about changed anything. She was not dx’ed until she was 15.…

I’m pretty sure 75% of my shirts as a youngin’ had my name on them. And I don’t have a terribly common name, so they were all hand puffy-painted by my parents. I lived to tell the tale.

Clothing with names is the #1 thing that prevents us for returning it or consigning it

Brandyn, Maddyson, AbbyGail, AnnaBella, Issybella. Something with a silent q.

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”

Can I just say how much I’m enjoying the wrong crossword answers? For some reason, those get an audible giggle out of me every time.

Sting gave $36,000 “to the victims of the East Village building explosion in NYC.”

It’s not exactly Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but it is the one thing they’ve got.

“Rob is “totally against what his dad is doing.””

Tom Cruise hasn’t seen Katie Holmes and Chris Klein’s baby in over a year

Friday my bf and I went to Chipotle. He always asks for extra cheese, and is similarly disappointed. Well this time the girl behind the counter took both hands, grabbed massive amounts of cheese and dumped it on the burrito. Twice. I guess I looked surprised when she did it because she said "The man asked for extra…

So I would just like to put this out in the world, BCO has made me a better diner and that makes me proud. On Friday I was out with friends, attending a Feminist/We Hate Men (not really, but some people think that's what the word means...) book reading. Afterward, giddy we went to a bar next door and made lots of…

"P.S. fuck you, because I just manufactured an entire person." This

Thanks. Sorry if I scared you. We were talking the other night and she's finally lost all her steroid weight and her skin has cleared up, she's rolling with a super cute asymmetric bob and she looks wonderful.

My wife calls waxing those regions a "Chip & Lynn".

When my wife was bald and in chemo, I'd have given anything to have to deal with random hair around the house. When she first started chemo, it fell out in giant clumps, leaving a halo of her naturally blonde hair on her pillow and wherever she sat. Eventually, she asked me to shave her head and that was when it all…

My wife has long, thick, beautiful hair, and I love it dearly, but holy shit I find it everywhere, up to and including my God-damned asscrack now and then, how does that even happen?!

Also guilty of this. When my husband hands me back lone strands of hair from every imaginable and unimaginable place, I thank him graciously and place it back on top of my head. Take that, husband.