Am I really supposed to tip this floral delivery guy when I didn't even know he was coming to deliver me flowers that I didn't even buy?

The art of tipping is, for most people, really freaking annoying. How much is too much? How much is too little? Is this the only reason I had to learn how to calculate percentages in 5th grade?

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE! WE ARE AT DOUCHECON FIVE!

Amber Rose. I could've been Amber Rose.

Bard College, 80s... Took a gut sociology class with my gf who always teased me about her crush on the Prof. One night, she had to leave our dorm for a "rehearsal," and, through our window, I saw her jump in the car of said professor. I jumped in my car, tailed them to his house in nearby Tivoli, NY and staked the…

I had accidentally lost a friend's favorite book and was too embarrassed to tell him so I told my boyfriend to keep it to himself as I stalled, hoping I would either find it or be able to replace it before he asked me to return it. Our (mutual) friend admitted that my boyfriend had spilled the beans a long time ago.…

He would've saved himself a lot of time if he'd just said-

"Hey, this is Jacks and I want to do butt stuff."

Woah.

Shailene Woodley, star of The Hunger Games knockoff...

Jaden Smith was having a bad day, I see.

Welcome to Retail Hell, our new regular feature

When I worked electronics at Walmart in rural Wisconsin (as if that doesn't set up my story beautifully enough...seriously, if you want, just use your imagination to finish the rest), I would deal with a lot of older folks who not only had no idea how to technology but were often PROUD that they had no idea how to…

Years ago (I think I was about 9), my parents, aunt, and I were visiting some giant mall in Boston. I found a holographic Raichu card from the Fossil deck near an elevator. I looked around and didn't see anyone, so I picked it up off the floor and stepped into the elevator with my family.

The Pokemon story warms my heart. That poor kid must've been verbally abused at school or something. Probably by kids who think Nintendo is "immature" because it's not full of guts an swearing.

Know what else is good with burns? The stuff you find in a first aid kit. Yep.

Just because some saucy tart hurls a fork at you doesn't make you a king. It's not like some bint can come up out of a pool of duck sauce, fling chop sticks at you and make you emperor of PF Changs.

Um, he's being a fucking animal, and you should not stand for this.

Ok so am I crazy for asking my husband to use tp to wipe up pee dribbles from the floor at the base of the toilet? Because he swears I am the worst nag in the world for doing this. I just don't want my pant hem in piss every time I go! He even goes as far as to deny that it's pee and couldn't possibly have gotten…

My husband uses toilet roll to blow his nose. If he has allergies or a cold going on, he will take a roll out of the bathroom to keep in the living room/office/kitchen where he is. Then he will leave it there.

God I needed this. THIS IS WHAT I'VE DEALT WITH ALL DAY.