also

Lindsay’s fiance kind of looks like James Franco in that picture. Are we sure this isn’t one of his elaborate performance art things, like ruining General Hospital was?

Fresh Feeling! I qualified with “which was also not featured in Shrek” because I think My Beloved Monster is also kind of not about beautiful misery? Well, except that whole “she will always be the only thing that comes between me and the awful sting that comes from living in a world that’s so damn mean.” That’s…

I was the DJ at the wedding reception of two close friends. I played “I Touch Myself” for their first dance. They loved it.

“In My Life” by the Beatles is the only first dance song you will ever need”

I finally talked my parents into reversing their adoption of my daughter. They coerced me into signing away my rights and letting them adopt her while I was in active addiction. I’ve been sober almost four years and had just resigned myself to never getting her back. I still feel like I’m dreaming. I can’t believe it.…

Well isn’t it ironic...

Pearl Jam

I am now officially hyped for four years of Bill Clinton’s best/worst First Lad dad jokes.

On the contrary I think this dude had painfully blue balls while writing this.

My question for everyone is, do you think Taylor Swift will let me get a cat here in her womb? I mean, she is a cat lady person, right? I am going to ask the publicist who preps me on handling press inquiries from journalists and fashion bloggers if it’s cool if I get a cat. It is fucking lonely in here. I’d really…

Also the Schuyler sisters:

Cabinets full of women > binders full of women.

I’m in the process of buying a house! No help from anyone, just me, myself, and I! And someone read a draft of my book and said I have chops, and another person said I’m a brilliant writer! And I took a giant nap today, bookendespite by my snoring cats.

Although I did not find an apartment in Portland this week (boo hiss), I've walked over 21k steps the last 4 days which, for my sedentary self, is marathon level. Also I walked to pick up my prescription today even though no one in this city walks. So woo exercise!

Absolutely, and I might add that $100,000 is not even close to enough. What they should sue for is dismissal of the TSA agents plus a few mil.

It’s more or less the Latin equivalent. A classy YOLO, if you will.

I'd recommend your local food bank. You can donate money, or food or your time and they really need all three.

Yep. My dad worked until 80. And he liked it! You can too!!!!

No consequences, absolutely no remorse, violent and degrading crime... what about this guy says ‘not likely to reoffend’?